Saturday, March 27, 2004
TID SUPER-FUN DEMOCRACY EVENT
by Paul Ravi Nair, heterosexual
Spring is here. A time of reinvention; out with the old, in with the new.
In that spirit, we've decided to try something new here at TID. We're gonna have a fun little experiment.
Without further delay, I present to you the First Annual TID Super-Fun Democracy Event. Here's how it works:
Event 2004: Sandwich Sharing
A couple of days ago, I was at my mild-mannered media job here in New York. The day was slow, and two of my co-workers and I were sitting around, watching television, gettin' hungry. We decided to order from Lenny's, the deli around the corner. It was agreed that we would go for a round of G2s, the most delicious sandwich this side of Hoagieville, USA. Here is a description of the G2:
Sliced roast beef, melted american cheese, romaine lettuce, hot peppers, grilled onions, cole slaw and tabasco on a hero. To further intensify the kickassness of the sandwich, 86 the cole slaw, and add bacon and extra tabasco. Done and done. Now you have what I call "the greatest sandwich ever told."
It came time to order and one of my coworkers and I decided to go halves on the sandwich. First of all, we weren't that hungry (it's a big sandwich, nearly a footlong) and also it's a $10 slab of goodness. We figured a half for each of us was all we needed.
This plan was immediately derided by my 3rd coworker, who exclaimed, and I quote: "What? You guys want two straws and a milkshake too, while you're at it?" We protested, and a debate ensued. Coworker 3's argument was "sharing sandwiches is gay," while our argument was "no it isn't." Keep in mind, we were just physically separating the damned sandwich. There was no leaning together over a plate or anything. That's just gay.
My stance is as follows, and I deliver it with the same gravity as I would if I were arguing in front of the supreme court:
To share sandwiches is so not gay. The entire point of sharing the sandwich is to maximize the efficiency of said sandwich and reduce the possibility of waste. Emotion and/or sexual preference do not come into play, at all. I proposed to share the sandwich because I understood the utter and total awesomeness of the sandwich in question. I think that's a pretty heterosexual trait, to identify and appreciate the dopeness of certain sandwiches. I may be presuming, but I think gay guys have better things to do than concern themselves with hoagies and heros. Can you really picture a trendy urban gay man piling on slabs of beef and A1 steak sauce onto a hoagie roll? Of course not. Straight fat slobs like myself are the only people on the planet who look out for their sandwiches with the care I exhibited. Gay. Hmmph.
I asked a couple of my roommates what they thought. They replied with "GAY!" and "so, are you in love now?" respectively.
So I take it to you, dear readers. You get to vote. We'll keep the polls open for two weeks. Feel free to include any comments, elaborations, tirades, etc. In the meantime, we'll try to keep you (and the site in general) updated. We've been slacking recently. Off you go!
IS SHARING A SANDWICH GAY? VOTE NOW AT THISISDEPRESSION@HOTMAIL.COM
by Paul Ravi Nair, heterosexual
Spring is here. A time of reinvention; out with the old, in with the new.
In that spirit, we've decided to try something new here at TID. We're gonna have a fun little experiment.
Without further delay, I present to you the First Annual TID Super-Fun Democracy Event. Here's how it works:
Event 2004: Sandwich Sharing
A couple of days ago, I was at my mild-mannered media job here in New York. The day was slow, and two of my co-workers and I were sitting around, watching television, gettin' hungry. We decided to order from Lenny's, the deli around the corner. It was agreed that we would go for a round of G2s, the most delicious sandwich this side of Hoagieville, USA. Here is a description of the G2:
Sliced roast beef, melted american cheese, romaine lettuce, hot peppers, grilled onions, cole slaw and tabasco on a hero. To further intensify the kickassness of the sandwich, 86 the cole slaw, and add bacon and extra tabasco. Done and done. Now you have what I call "the greatest sandwich ever told."
It came time to order and one of my coworkers and I decided to go halves on the sandwich. First of all, we weren't that hungry (it's a big sandwich, nearly a footlong) and also it's a $10 slab of goodness. We figured a half for each of us was all we needed.
This plan was immediately derided by my 3rd coworker, who exclaimed, and I quote: "What? You guys want two straws and a milkshake too, while you're at it?" We protested, and a debate ensued. Coworker 3's argument was "sharing sandwiches is gay," while our argument was "no it isn't." Keep in mind, we were just physically separating the damned sandwich. There was no leaning together over a plate or anything. That's just gay.
My stance is as follows, and I deliver it with the same gravity as I would if I were arguing in front of the supreme court:
To share sandwiches is so not gay. The entire point of sharing the sandwich is to maximize the efficiency of said sandwich and reduce the possibility of waste. Emotion and/or sexual preference do not come into play, at all. I proposed to share the sandwich because I understood the utter and total awesomeness of the sandwich in question. I think that's a pretty heterosexual trait, to identify and appreciate the dopeness of certain sandwiches. I may be presuming, but I think gay guys have better things to do than concern themselves with hoagies and heros. Can you really picture a trendy urban gay man piling on slabs of beef and A1 steak sauce onto a hoagie roll? Of course not. Straight fat slobs like myself are the only people on the planet who look out for their sandwiches with the care I exhibited. Gay. Hmmph.
I asked a couple of my roommates what they thought. They replied with "GAY!" and "so, are you in love now?" respectively.
So I take it to you, dear readers. You get to vote. We'll keep the polls open for two weeks. Feel free to include any comments, elaborations, tirades, etc. In the meantime, we'll try to keep you (and the site in general) updated. We've been slacking recently. Off you go!
IS SHARING A SANDWICH GAY? VOTE NOW AT THISISDEPRESSION@HOTMAIL.COM
